Self esteem

I am now realizing that self esteem is just as important in your 40's as it is in your teens. I never really had much self esteem in my teen years (who does??) but now, I am feeling it all over again in my 40's. Why do I care so much about how I look? I am so hard on myself when I gain weight. Or when my hair/makeup doesn't look right. What is this doing to my kids? Am I showing them that looks are all that is important? I am a very vain person. If I could afford it I would have all kinds of surgery done to correct time and age. Is that wrong? I know that my husband loves me for who I am, but I know he looks at other women who have perky chests and no "muffin" tops.

When I was in my 20's and 30's, I looked good. Now, not so good. I have wrinkles, gray hair and that middle age pooch. I hate that!!!! Am I the only person who cares about this? Sometimes I think I am. Other women seem to embrace the look and do not care how they look now. They think of it as their trophy for having children. I, on the other hand, am disgusted by it and want it to change. My self esteem has plunged to an all new low. What can I do to change it?

I think maybe I am feeling a bit sorry for myself, don't you?????