I have a very good friend who has an AWESOME relationship with her husband. She even refers to him as her best friend. I love to see them together, they are so awe inspiring. I am jealous. I am jealous of the relationship that they have. Dan and I love each other, but we are far from being best friends. how is it possible that you can be with someone for 13 years plus and not be their best friend?
Dan and I have had some really bad times and some really good times. We only dated for about 6 months before we got married and did not have time to develop what you would call a friendship. Now looking back, I wish we had more time to get to know each other as people instead of a lover. Just being honest. I love Dan because he takes such good care of us, but I feel so alone in our relationship. I try to fill that void by busying myself with other projects, but it is not working. How do you become best friends with someone that you do not have anything in common with??
I often refer to myself as a single married mom, and truthfully, I am. I take care of everything. The other day we had a tiff and he just told me to take care of it. Where do I go with that? I know this sounds whiny and bitch, but where do I turn? Is it possible to become best friends with your partner after so many years of no communication and one person doing everything to keep the relationship alive?
I do not know the answer to this question, but I do know that this is my new mission. I am going to become best friends with my husband because I love him. God grant me the peace and patience to accomplish this marriage saving task.
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Education
I got my grades for the fall quarter today. All A's. I have never gotten all A's at any point in my life. I had parents who were not big on education and really did not care if I did my homework or not. I can seriously never remember a time when they asked me if I had my homework done. So I never did it. My GPA upon graduation of high school will prove that. I wasn't even sure if I would walk until the day of graduation!!!
Now that I am older and little wiser, I am the homework Nazi with my kids. The first thing I do when they come home is check their bookbags. I see what they need to do and I make sure it gets done. I read every little comment that their teachers make on their assignments and we go over what they did not understand. Most importantly, I do not let them skate by with extra credit. I do not even let them do it. They must make their grades by the assignments given, not take the easy road out. In my eyes, extra credit is the slackers way of getting the points you need to grasp a higher grade. Are they actually retaining anything from this? NO!! When my children get out into the REAL WORLD, employers want skills, not their ability to write down 7 chapters of vocabulary words and fail every assignment given.
This quarter I had three classes that allowed extra credit. I did the extra credit for two of the three. The extra credit in one class saved me from a C. I received an email from that instructor after my grade was posted. This person told me that I really had a C before the extra credit was applied. I failed the final, miserably. The reason they gave me the A was because they knew I knew what I was doing. This particular subject was not my forte'. It was not the knowledge that I retained, but the fact that I knew how to find the answers to the questions that they were asking. I actually studied for this test, but could not retain the text. I am grateful for the A, but I feel as if I did not deserve it rightly. I emailed this person back and asked to be given the grade I deserved. As of tonight, it is still an A.
If you are reading this, please teach your children that taking the easy way out is not the best option. If you work and study hard, you can achieve the grade that you deserve. It may not always be an A, but it will be your honest effort.
Now that I am older and little wiser, I am the homework Nazi with my kids. The first thing I do when they come home is check their bookbags. I see what they need to do and I make sure it gets done. I read every little comment that their teachers make on their assignments and we go over what they did not understand. Most importantly, I do not let them skate by with extra credit. I do not even let them do it. They must make their grades by the assignments given, not take the easy road out. In my eyes, extra credit is the slackers way of getting the points you need to grasp a higher grade. Are they actually retaining anything from this? NO!! When my children get out into the REAL WORLD, employers want skills, not their ability to write down 7 chapters of vocabulary words and fail every assignment given.
This quarter I had three classes that allowed extra credit. I did the extra credit for two of the three. The extra credit in one class saved me from a C. I received an email from that instructor after my grade was posted. This person told me that I really had a C before the extra credit was applied. I failed the final, miserably. The reason they gave me the A was because they knew I knew what I was doing. This particular subject was not my forte'. It was not the knowledge that I retained, but the fact that I knew how to find the answers to the questions that they were asking. I actually studied for this test, but could not retain the text. I am grateful for the A, but I feel as if I did not deserve it rightly. I emailed this person back and asked to be given the grade I deserved. As of tonight, it is still an A.
If you are reading this, please teach your children that taking the easy way out is not the best option. If you work and study hard, you can achieve the grade that you deserve. It may not always be an A, but it will be your honest effort.
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Look in the mirror before you judge...
I went to church today fulling expecting the pastor to affirm my faith and reassure me that I am a good Christian. What I got instead was the embarrassing reality that I am a hypocrite. I get mad at other people for talking smack about others, when I in turn do it myself. Just on the way to church my kids and I were talking about people that actually go to our church, in not such a favorable way either.
How can I teach my children not to do this when I myself do this? It is hard to explain to them one thing when you do it yourself. I feel like such an asshole for even doing this. I hate when people talk about others and here I am doing it, in front of my kids!!!
I am sending out the wrong message to them. I have always taught my kids that all people are equal in my eyes, yet I talk about them as if they were beneath me. That I am somehow better than they are.
I am making an effort to practice what I preach. No more talking about other people, no matter how much I want to. I need to remember that we are all equal in God's eyes, the same thing that I tell my kids all the time. My pastor was talking about his mother who just recently passed away. She was 85 years old and he never once heard her talk about anyone. Can any of us make that claim???? I know I can't.
I met a lady yesterday who actually married someone from my childhood that I do not remember in a good way. He and his family were just bad news. Drugs, drinking, abuse...I could go on. Now this lady is one of the nicest and sweetest women I have ever met. When I figured out that SHE was married to HIM, I was shocked. How could she have married him?? Now I realize, there is more to a person than we may ever know. I could have easily dismissed her due to her being married to him, but instead, I am her friend and will continue to be one. Meeting her and talking to her has inspired me to be more like her and my pastors late mother. Think about this.
How can I teach my children not to do this when I myself do this? It is hard to explain to them one thing when you do it yourself. I feel like such an asshole for even doing this. I hate when people talk about others and here I am doing it, in front of my kids!!!
I am sending out the wrong message to them. I have always taught my kids that all people are equal in my eyes, yet I talk about them as if they were beneath me. That I am somehow better than they are.
I am making an effort to practice what I preach. No more talking about other people, no matter how much I want to. I need to remember that we are all equal in God's eyes, the same thing that I tell my kids all the time. My pastor was talking about his mother who just recently passed away. She was 85 years old and he never once heard her talk about anyone. Can any of us make that claim???? I know I can't.
I met a lady yesterday who actually married someone from my childhood that I do not remember in a good way. He and his family were just bad news. Drugs, drinking, abuse...I could go on. Now this lady is one of the nicest and sweetest women I have ever met. When I figured out that SHE was married to HIM, I was shocked. How could she have married him?? Now I realize, there is more to a person than we may ever know. I could have easily dismissed her due to her being married to him, but instead, I am her friend and will continue to be one. Meeting her and talking to her has inspired me to be more like her and my pastors late mother. Think about this.
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